r4 vs r5
11
[[분류:수필]]
2
Oh, pain! Thy has dragged me into the darkest, deepest part of your inner soul.
3
I compulsorily traced thee trace, reverse to my own vision and against and opposing to
4
my will. I was cramped under thy weight burdening my own soul, causing me to sink
5
deeper and deeper down the crust of doom, finally encountering overwhelmers to have
6
me unconscious. I have begged, appealed to cease these leading to my ultimate; still have
7
I been ignored wholly by your careless own. If thought, that is controlling my
8
body to action, you were controlling my thoughts to initiate my body to your purpose.
9
10
Oh, for the sake of god, that I do not believe, you may instantly discontinue this
11
misfortune that I recently encountered! As the pain is too mighty for me to
12
handle, as I struggle to survive, resist, and endure, idiosyncratically I am beginning
13
to deep down to the swamp of never-ending nightmares that come to
14
face me every dawn, however I would never be able to efface that memory
15
off my brain.
16
17
O mighty pain, do not let me be the floccinaucinihilipilification
18
of thee, as present is already drowning out my blood out of my veins
19
and ideality out of my head. I never intended to be your nemesis, as I have
20
always lived with your own self and knew you were necessary for the useless
21
me. But, now, pray leave me alone.
22
23
This overwhelming pain has already cut
24
into my skin and reaching for my inner.... oh, it has saturated me with despair!
25
oh despair – despair that makes me desperate to crawl out of this flooding
26
pain. and then it would come — the drought — the drought of my feelingness
27
and emotions and memory – all merged into a large group of negativity — which
28
does nothing to me but to kill, murder, and crush me ’till my death.
29
30
Pain bruised and tore up my skin, exposing unprotected insides of me, and enjoyed
31
it. Thy joy shuddered the meaningless world and crumbled; then broke my bones and
32
powdered what was left of me. Blood splattered on either side of thee, yet you
33
lacked conscience because it didn't exist in your science; Then you maintained your
34
pain upon me and still intensifying, and at last the degree reached its maximum;
35
36
I came to face the ultimate end that was waiting for me from the start — starting
37
me every time you come to meet me, keeping me alive although I wanted death,
38
however, making me conceive the pain equilibrium of grasping into the area of
39
death, between the boundaries of life and death. I was weavered by own yourself.
40
41
If thy do not decide the end of this ongoing pain upon me, I shall finally fall off the
42
cliff of life, into the descent of madness, which I am already seeming to suffer in
43
concurrent realm, simultaneously desperately wanting, oh craving for escaping this
44
roundabout that never seems to end, so that, I express my willingness to you,
45
whom does not seem to fancy the idea of mine.
46
47
There, I would want to break the
48
eternal cycle of upturning wheel of pains of life, but as I am nearing the area of
49
death, that is, the end of life, due to you causing me to, adjoining my side with
50
the demon beside; I have crashed into the walls of fate, shattering my soul and body,
51
yet without nourishment at all. Here may I end the assertion, for I am losing my
52
mind every moment.
53
----
54
-----
55
------
256
Oh, pain! Thy has dragged me into the darkest, deepest part of your inner soul. I compulsorily traced thee trace, reverse to my own vision and against and opposing to my will. I was cramped under thy weight burdening my own soul, causing me to sink deeper and deeper down the crust of doom, finally encountering overwhelmers to have me unconscious. I have begged, appealed to cease these leading to my ultimate; still have I been ignored wholly by your careless own. If thought, that is controlling my body to action, you were controlling my thoughts to initiate my body to your purpose.
357
458
Oh, for the sake of god, that I do not believe, you may instantly discontinue this misfortune that I recently encountered! As the pain is too mighty for me to handle, as I struggle to survive, resist, and endure, idiosyncratically I am beginning to deep down to the swamp of never-ending nightmares that come to face me every dawn, however I would never be able to efface that memory off my brain.
......
1872
1973
God, but the cycle, however, grasped by the outer shell of itself, has been reinforced more and more; by the saint of the heaven, I do concurrently lack the strength to shatter the shell, I even cannot keep up with just obtaining every seconds of my demolished life, course so that the detaining power that lock me down would not ever seem to allow me penetrate.
2074
21
Here may I end the assertion, for I am losing my mind every moment.
75
When could it ever end? Perhaps not until reconsideration of the death, which shall never be good. O misfortune! Why, may I ask, oh why have you selected me to be your victim after all? Where could you have ever derived from? That mischief! 'lways in my way and causing me misconceptions and misleading to miscommunications of the 'ntire world!
76
77
Now I see darkness booning 'front of my 'wn eyes, dancing and propagating. It has swallowed my entire eyes, my eyesight citing nothin', and then comes the flame, flaming 'ain that let me foresee the near future right next to me. 'ain that constrained me and 'onfined me so that I could not move any 'art of my body, pain. 'ain, end this, or... 'r...
78
79
80
81
82
83
84
85
86
87
88
89
90
91
92
93
94
95
96
97
98
99
100
101
102
103
104
105
106
107
108
109
110
111
112
113
114
115
116
117
118
119
120
121
122
123
124
125
126
127
128
129
130
131
132
133
134
135
136
137
138
139
140
141
142
143
144
145
146
147
148
149
150
151
152
153
154
155
156
157
158
159
160
161
162
163
164
165
166
167
168
169
170
171
172
173
174
175
176
177
178
179
180
181
182
183
184
185
186
187
188
189
190
191
192
193
194
195
196
197
198
199
200
201